I am a proud member of this group. In my relationship I make this challenge seem like a cakewalk but I cram and study for what appears to be a final exam everyday.
I could have been a biological dad ten times over. I am quite sure my sperm count today is still as volatile as it was in my teens. 🙃😁
But I remained conscientious in the indecision and was lucky to have been with partners who weren’t scheming to have children, and or, who were not interested in having children right away, or were not interested at all.
These women were just as smart and beautiful as most mothers I’ve had relationships with. They were kind and headstrong. Obviously I am attracted to this type. They were also like mothers to so many others even during the times they were children themselves.
There are many factors I presume that guys and gals (gays or trans) decide not to have children in the moment. For me it isn’t out of fear, the reason was more so for what I didn’t want my child to go through. What I have seen others go through; what I have gone through; what I am going through; what we as a nation are going through, just seems somewhat inconsiderate of me for my not born.
Though natalism is highly promoted as desirable or like some some rite of passage which includes exclusive membership benefits in a highly regarded club, there is so much that I see that is wrong with us as a community, as a society, as a nation, and mostly as members of humankind that makes me second-guess joining. Peace remains irresolvable, while love is still elusive.
There is this ever-present danger of mean spiritedness, callousness, and mindlessness that I can never explain away to myself much less to my not born. I struggle to make sense of it among the born that look to me as a father figure, a uncle, a guardian, or just a friend.
Still, I credit those whose optimism overshadows these very real concerns. I appreciate seeing that faith in humanity and who knows, maybe, one day, this might change for me, or maybe not. Begetting is not for everybody, but fathering is as indispensable as it is essential to our whole.