Siblling dynamics are the most overlooked and undermined of relationships. It’s maxim is best described as misunderstood on so many levels. Being the eldest (along with your gender) in the order of your birth explains so much why you are the way that you are Ms. Tre.
Your position in the family is uniquely challenged and that is what makes the dynamics of your relationships that cumbersome to navigate and manage. The eldest in my brood is male and thus diametric to the personality traits you express. My brother is the epitome of selfishness, yet kind enough to admit that these are his shortcomings and thus his justifiable excuses. He saw himself as the sacrifice for us in all the mistakes he made — causing our mother the grief we had to endure —that the rest of us would never have to make as an example.
I know that it feels like a pound of your flesh aches to see your brother take a path known to have dead ends. This is not a road less traveled, it is a well-beaten path which has you and your sister-in-law so worried and upset. This coupled with a “you can’t tell me nothing” attitude is heart-wrenching. It is now that you rely on prayer in hopes that it triggers some introspection to kick in for him. What would block this from happening is the weight of his own ill-conceived circumstances that tunnels his vision.
There are many times when I misperceive and use well intentioned aims to justify an ill-conceived means to what blindly becomes a terrible end — but only through introspection. When there is a lack of introspection I seem impossible to stop. It speaks to the precarities of life itself.
I’m praying with you honey.
Peace and stay blessed.